The Secrets to Success at Friendship
At Friendship, we are lucky to have hundreds of clients walk through our doors every day. And we’ve had hundreds more come and go throughout the thirteen years we’ve been in business. Many of our clients have seen amazing success with us: new skills gained, major health battles won, personal record weights lifted, significant and lasting weight loss, competitions and races completed, among so many other daily wins.
But, of course, with all the success we get to witness and be a part of, there are also failures.
People who come for just a day, or a few weeks, or a few months but never really find the success that they were hoping for when they first started; it just didn’t “click”. So what separates these two groups? Why do some people accomplish so much, change their lives, and stay with us for years while others struggle to find traction and never come back?
#1 They show-up.
Our best clients come to class consistently, day after day, week after week. Even in the beginning when it is scary and unknown. Even when they feel “unmotivated” or “lazy”. Even when it’s raining or snowing or cold or hot. Even when they don’t like the workout.
Coming to class is simply a non-negotiable.
It is a priority in their lives and that usually means that sacrifices need to be made: earlier bedtimes for 5:15am class, asking a boss if you can get in at 8:15 instead of 8:00am, or a spouse who rushes home from work to be with the kids so they can make it to their workout. It is important to remember that nothing will change, if nothing changes. The best way to usher in the new version of yourself is through disciplined action. I can promise you that every person who you look at and think “wow, they’re so fit” has earned it through sacrifice, time and consistency.
#2 They push themselves.
When you join with us, right away you’ve done something that was probably a little (or a lot) uncomfortable. Starting somewhere unfamiliar, taking on a potentially daunting challenge, meeting new people; all of these things are pushing you out of your comfort zone. Our best clients continue to lean into that feeling, day after day, workout after workout. It’s uncomfortable by design, because conquering these micro-challenges every day builds up your self-confidence, and belief of your potential against hard things. At a base level, this is also what exercise is: forcing a new stress onto your body it’s never experienced before, then your body will ‘adapt' (change) to accommodate that new stress. AKA if it’s not hard, you’re not getting better.
I encourage you to continually find ways to make things more difficult for yourself. Sometimes that means big things: signing up for a competition or a race, trying to learn a new gymnastic skill, or setting lofty weightlifting goals. It also means smaller daily challenges: the 35# kettlebell when they know the 26# would be easier, dropping an extra plate on that sled on the last round, or partnering up with someone new - these are huge daily wins! Stack up enough of these daily wins, and you will see your goals smashed in no time.
Then…you set new goals to never stop improving even when the newness wears off and PRs are harder to achieve. Not every day will be your best, but you keep pushing forward anyway.
#3 They are friendly, open, and seek to meet and help others.
First of all, just look at our name! We are a gym born out of a few guys who wanted to workout together and have a space to invite others to take part in the fun. We aren’t the place to hide in the corner, put your earbuds in and your hood up, and tune out the world. You don’t have to be the most outgoing or social person, but you do have to have an open attitude about trying to meet new people and gain new relationships. Sometimes making just one or two gym friends is the accountability system we need to help keep us consistent with our attendance and accountable to our goals.
And while it may not seem like a huge part of your ‘fitness’, meeting new people has also been proven to statistically help mental health in as little as 10 minutes per day. If you add in the smiles, laughter, hugs and high fives you regularly see in classes, you can get most of your social needs covered in just one hour at the gym!
We also find that attending our social events and cultivating relationships outside of the walls of the gym is an amazing way to strengthen and cement the friendships made during classes. The social events are also great ways to try new things (rock climbing, stand-up paddleboarding, Spikeball, etc.), use the fitness we work so hard for, and meet people we don’t normally see day to day.
#4 They listen to and seek out coaching.
We are, first and foremost, a coaching program. We take pride in having professional coaches who are constantly learning and trying to better themselves. Our best clients trust in and seek out our expertise. They take advantage of extra things like our auxiliary classes, nutrition services, seminars, podcast, and one-on-one coaching. They also are open to tips and feedback during classes without hesitation. They listen to recommendations on weight choices, stimulus of the workout, and scaling options.
The relationships you build with the coaches will be directly correlated to the improvements you make in the gym. If you name a goal, someone at Friendship has achieved it. We can give you an honest assessment of the work required and the path to get there, the only thing left is to trust the process.
#5 They work on their mental game.
Did you know we talk to ourselves in our head more than all our other conversations combined? Our self-talk makes up a whopping 80% of all of our daily communication! So, we must pay attention to the things that we say to ourselves, especially when things get tough and we aren’t feeling our best. Do we put ourselves down or do we offer encouragement? Do we think about all of the wrong choices we’ve made or do we focus on making the next right one?
We come to the gym to train our physical bodies, sure, but usually it is the mental training that can make the biggest difference in changing our lives. Every time we complete a tough workout, we build our resiliency, positivity, and toughness. We are 1% more ready for the next challenge that confronts us. We prove to ourselves, time after time, that we can do more than we thought we were capable of.
These secrets to success aren’t really that obscure, even if we zoom out and think about what it takes to be successful in our lives outside of the gym. Be dependable and persistent. Seek out help when you need it and offer it when you can. Find challenges that build your mental and physical resilience. Be a Friend! — Written by Coach Liz Van Winkle
